Where peace and silence reside in spirit, rush and noise resides in ego. The world cannot function without an active action on part of the humans. However, the ‘art of doing’ driven out of mental and egoic sense is very different than the one coming out of the ‘state of being’. However, state of being cannot be achieved until one learns to deal and observe the strong hold of emotions driven out of strong egoic identity yet again.  

You might notice the use of the word ‘ego’ quite a few sometimes in this article, but it is to be so, for the lack of the better word, to define a phenomenon of what it is. Ego, here means not the pride or self-esteem/self-importance, but, “a conscious thinking subject, a part of the mind and the sense of self”.

A strong sense of self is indispensable to live a happy, good and easy life on this earth, but the very strong presence of it, harbingers more attachment, more possession and more the need of self-fulfillment unconsciously driven out of the fear of survival. One cannot live without the sense of self, for it is impossible to do so in the humanly existential form.

The circumstances of life driven by the law of cause and effect and the karmic pendency does bring about bruises to the unaware and unrealized egoic self, when lived from fragility and that too in a super attached manner. The atrocities inflicted upon marginalized, the discrimination faced by the weaker section, the injustices and cheating brought about in one’s right, the mistreatment and disrespect experienced, the dark space of depression and anxiety, the individualistic need for attention and validation from outside oneself etc. leads to anger, resentment, sorrow, feelings of revenge, sense of control and in extreme cases, even narcissistic tendencies.

All the above mentioned and even non-mentioned are nothing but discomforts of ego. The comforts of ego too exist, like when we are our satisfied and happy selves, are able to have fun and joy in the daily mundane lives. But as in the common parlance, “Childbirth is always followed by bloodbath”. There is no construction of the new without violence and destruction, as believed by the 16^th century English philosopher and political theorist, Thomas Hobbes too. It is only when we are able to experience the discomforts of ego that we give rise to the creation. The key is not to numb the discomforts but to sit, observe them and then channel it to express the overwhelm of feelings in your own unique way.

On the personal front, I, driven by the forces of the universe with no prior active experience in art, produced one of the finest sample of ‘Zentangle art’ in the midnight of August 2021. I was going through a deep wave of grief due to a couple of personal reasons. Astonishing myself, I never looked at my sorrows the same way post that. What started as producing art by being in a zone, one with my emotions, turned to my knack in poetry and now running this blog. The intensity of emotions experienced has indeed reduced, making me more self-regulated, but the regulation is always driven by some form of creation in the outer world.

No experience or emotion is to be wasted. We all are learning from each other in one way or the other. Transforming your discomfort to create is a testimony to the love you hold for flawed self. Nothing can be a more sublime way to accept yourself the way you are and yet challenge yourself towards productivity and betterment.

Turn your pain into a story to inspire, draw your grief on empty pages so it gets the eyes to see it if not ears to hear, write your injustices for others to relate, run with your sorrows, lift your heartbreaks, be vulnerable with your cracks and lastly, transcend your egoic self but not bypass it.

The key is not to numb things out or distract oneself, but to sit with the void or feeling, process it, observe it, create something out of it and then let it go. And ironically it is then that, you would not have the need to let it go, as it would no longer hold the same meaning, perspective and value for you. The absolute shame would have been transformed to a renewed experience. Each time you create, you give a new birth to yourself too.